5 Things She Wishes You Knew About How It Feels to Plan a Wedding Right Now.
Are you a fiancé, mom, aunt, friend or bridesmaid of a dear bride-to-be? Do you love her and want to offer all the help you can in planning her wedding?
In a recent IG survey on our page @sunsetoaksvenue, we found that over 80% of brides who are planning a wedding right now feel excess pressure from their well-intentioned friends and family.
We often hear- “But, I’m just trying to help!”
Yes, we know. And she knows. She loves you for it, but….. chances are, she’s overwhelmed with the whole thing- the major life event, trying to make everyone happy, traditions she’s never heard of, avoiding the disaster she experienced at her friend’s wedding, and etc.
This is her first time planning a wedding, and maybe it’s not YOUR first time. But does your insistence add pressure to what already feels like a mountain of to-do’s?
Here’s the 5 things she WISHES you knew about how she feels.
Stay tuned, and we’ll tell you how to help!
To her family: She loves you VERY much, and she wants to make you happy. She appreciates your suggestion, but it’s THEIR big day, and the couple has the final say in decisions. Making decisions without consulting her, talking to her vendors, changing her plans- those are all hurtful things that can break trust and take away from the joy of the journey. If they say “simple,” that’s what they mean.
To her Fiancé: She feels like she’s the one carrying most of the planning weight on her shoulders. She doesn’t want to ask for help, but she needs your patience, your comfort, and you have to be the reminder of why you two are doing this in the first place.
Friends: She can’t invite every friend she’s ever met. Not being a bridesmaid doesn’t mean she loves you any less. She put an immense amount of heart into these decisions and didn’t want offend anyone. She just wants peace and support on her decisions. And on the day-of, leave all your baggage at home and let this be about the happy couple.
Everyone: She’s looking forward to this day more than you can ever imagine! Excitement and nervousness can be synonymous these days, but she doesn’t need you to “fix” everything. She LOVES you, she APPRECIATES you, and she RESPECTS your opinion. But that doesn’t mean she has to do things your way. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy!
Lastly, she still wants to enjoy her engagement, and she knows that at the end of it all, she’s marrying the love of her life surrounded by people who love them both, and THAT. IS. WHAT. MATTERS.
BONUS: here’s a list of things she already knows and could live without being reminded of constantly
Yes, it’s hot in Texas most of the year, and Yes, she still wants an outdoor ceremony
Yes, professional vendors ARE needed! Yes, weddings are expensive, and no, your friend can’t spotify the music to save money
Yes, she’s sure you can’t invite anyone else who’s not already on the guest list
Yes, she’ll have special requirements to add safety measures during COVID, because obviously she loves everyone attending and does NOT want to contribute to the spread.
*Tips- if you truly want to help without adding pressure:
talk to her coordinator/decision maker on the day-of instead of running to her with every little question
offer to help with cleanup
offer to deliver some Starbucks while they’re getting hair/makeup done
give a gift card for a catered brunch on the day-of (or order pizza for the groomsmen before the ceremony)
donate to the honeymoon fund
offer to babysit her bridesmaid’s kiddos before/after the ceremony
take care of vendor gratuities
offer in advance to cut the cake, and make sure they have knives, plates, forks and napkins (and watch a youtube video on wedding cake cutting- yes, it’s a special technique!)
leave good reviews for her vendors
encourage self-care
love on them, and give them quality time with you without making every minute about their wedding planning
Hope this post isn’t too harsh on y’all! We love you, but too often, we see family dynamics and upsets on wedding days. Our #1 goal is to make our East Texas Wedding Couples HAPPY! This is a day of LOVE and JOY, so let’s keep it that way!
Want to hear how we support our lovely couples at Tyler, TX’s favorite wedding venue? Check out all the awesome inclusions on the Investment Page, and when you’re ready, you can book a tour straight from the website! Email us anytime at hello@sunsetoaksvenue.com
Photos by Lacey Nicole Photography
